My husband proposed to me two days before my nineteenth birthday. We met while working at a Christian camp and conference center in a very small one (maybe two?) stoplight town in southern New Hampshire. I was a secretary and he worked in the operations department. I was there on a year long hiatus from college. He thought he would work there for the rest of his life.
The short story is that I never expected to meet my husband at such a young age.
The long story is that I had never dated anyone prior to Shawn. I had never held hands with anyone or been kissed. It was not by choice necessarily, it was more just the way that my young life played out. I was way more interested in preserving my independence and going to graduate school than dating anyone.
But Shawn was convinced from the moment he saw me that I would some day be his wife and in his slow, steady, unabashedly awkward way he began to reveal his plan to me. One Thursday evening at a time. We would meet, as friends, for an hour and just talk. I enjoyed his company, but made sure to keep our conversations as platonic as possible. Great sermons often came up and sometimes we played ping pong.
Some where in the several months of our new friendship I sensed his intentions and completely surprised myself when I started thinking about him as more than just my friend. I started to imagine coming home and seeing his kind face at the end of the day. Scenes would arise in my mind of us traveling the world together as well as cooking dinner. The epic and the simple. With Shawn by my side. So, we started talking about marriage.
It was just as unnatural as it sounds. Because despite being drawn to Shawn, I was not ready to get married to him. He is different from me in almost every single way. He is quiet, steady and detail oriented and I am highly verbal (a kind way of saying obnoxiously chatty) and impulsive. But I suppose the only similarity we have is the only one that matters anyway: our relationship with Jesus.
He drew us together. There is no other way of saying it. It was early June 2006 when we discussed getting married and August 5th when we actually got engaged. The whole experience felt out of body. It was as if I was watching myself from some higher vantage point. I was saying "Sure. Marriage." and "Yes, I will" and then, "I do" at the altar the following June. And while there were distinct moments leading up to our wedding day of being completely in love with Shawn, much of that year was spent asking God if I was really doing the right thing. Was He truly calling me to commit the rest of my life to this one man?
...
The fall after we got engaged, I was finishing up my year in New Hampshire while Shawn was back in Connecticut working and preparing for our married life together. There was many an afternoon when I would leave the camp after work and drive for an hour or two and just think about the implications of that ring on my finger. I would pray out loud, I would cry, I would listen to music. One song in particular brought me so much comfort that I would listen to it over and over again--this song, Download 03 One Man, sung and written by a Boston folksinger and mom of five named Lori McKenna.
I unearthed her CD the other day when I was driving around with Eleanor and when this song started playing, tears started also. This time the tears were not brought on by uncertainty or fear, but by complete joy. Joy in the fact that I was listening to this song with our sweet daughter. Joy in the fact that Shawn and I have been through so many seasons together. Joy in the fact that I have experienced God's promises fulfilled in my life. Joy in the fact that I now know that Shawn is the best and only man for me.
Photo credit: Amanda of Orchard Cove Photography